The Masochism Tango
by xlizardbreath
Summary: When Jacob Black gets the perfect revenge on Edward Cullen he never intended for things to become so skewed. An undeniable connection is made, but what will become of Bella and this twisted tale of a horrible romance?
1. Buterflies and Hurricanes

So this story was basically written because I wanted to attempt some Jacob/Edward smut. I've never actually read any and mine will probably be ooc. I enjoy any type of reviews as long as they have constructive criticism. If you just want to criticize without any way of trying to help me better my writing why are you reviewing? Anyway let me know what you think. If you notice the beginning of the story starts with the word butterflies and the end has the word hurricane. It was my own little challenge to myself. Enjoy!

**I own nothing.**

The song lyrics used in this fic that inspired me greatly to write it are:

_lyrics_

"Let The Record Show" - Emilie Autumn (beginning lyrics)

"I Don't Care" - Fall Out Boy (ending lyrics)

* * *

_If I'm going down then I'm going down good. _

_If I'm going down then I'm going down clean. _

_If I'm going down then I'm going the prettiest wretched whore you've ever seen._

It felt as if a fleet of butterflies attacked my stomach once the realization hit me. I felt like retching right then and there at the idea of Edward sinking his fangs into my Bella. And she wanted it. The thought was just repulsive.

So apparently Bella was happy with her bloodsucking leech and heaven knows how much this fact irritated me beyond the breaking point. It seemed as if she was well on her way to becoming a vampire herself. I sighed, impatiently, as I sat in the driver's seat of my Rabbit. I know I'd lost, but at the very least wanted to go out with a bang. Jacob Black was not the type to give up without a fight and I wanted them both to remember me as long as humanly possible. Even though that sparkly fruitcake wasn't a human.

I bit my lower lip attempting to conjure up some sort of scenario. However difficult a task this may have been. To any onlooker it probably would have appeared as if the race had already been won and I was still stupidly running the marathon, trying to finish hours after. This is what frustrated me the most. The giving up bit. If I was going to be forced to give up I wanted something in return. I'd acquired a parting gift from Bella. That kiss in the tent was decent, but now I wanted to take something from her precious Edward like he'd done to me.

For a very long time nothing came and I simply sat in my makeshift garage in silence, but then it hit me. The deliciously sweet revenge I'd exact on him. The plan was too perfect. So perfect in fact that I had to throw the idea out. Come on? I have like two million people in my head including the person with whom I was seeking vengeance. I had to think out a decent enough "plan", but ensure I kept it seeming spontaneous. If Edward knew what I was thinking how could I expect to exact my revenge? Let alone letting the La Push pack know what I had in mind for our blood-sucking friend.

In all actuality there wasn't any plan. I just hoped the one I'd thought up would throw people off if I kept it at the front of my mind and it seemed to. Having people in your mind is incredibly taxing. Nothing is sacred anymore. Not even one's own thoughts. I scoffed bitterly at that thought and finally hefted myself from the seat of the car feeling like that girl in that song by Shawn Colvin "Sunny Came home. But I wasn't going to commit arson. No, this revenge would be much more permanent for my pansy-ass vampire friend. Hearing my dad's voice calling me from inside the house, a smirk spread across my features. Apparently I was no longer the sweet boy Bella had always wanted me to be, the one I knew I couldn't stay as.

xxxxxxx---xxxxxxx

A few days later I was supposed to be spending the day with Bella. I lay in my bed listening to the radio waiting for her to call. If my dad hadn't left early with Charlie or someone…I couldn't be too sure… he probably would've thought I was moping. It sure seemed that way to me when The Smiths' "Last Night I Dreamt Somebody Loved Me" came on and I didn't bother making a move to turn it off even when a very loud knock came on my front door.

After a few seconds I lifted myself from the bed and plucked the door open, heaving a deep sigh. There she stood. Bella. Probably taking in my obviously disheveled appearance. She coughed, seeming apprehensive, and then finally met my gaze. "Hey Jake." She smiled that beautiful smile and I couldn't help but wonder if _he_ helped give her that smile when I acted as difficult as I knew I might end up being today.

"Hey." I responded to her simply, unwilling to allow myself too much excitement. Morrissey's melancholy voice enveloped us even as we stood in the doorway. That too long song still playing loud as ever. She blinked at me and I allowed her access into my home. "Jake, this is unhealthy." She made a gesture around the room and I knew exactly what she was talking about, but I didn't want to let her get away that easily.

She wore a simple three-quarters sleeved shirt. Army green to complement her blue jeans and black ankle-high laced up boots. How undeniably beautiful she looked. I quickly shook my head of that thought. I couldn't let myself get caught up in the game again. However tempting it may have been.

We sat in the living-room for a long while just making small talk until she finally decided to dredge up the topic again. "Don't you think you should try getting out more Jacob? You are going out right? Not just staying in the house all day?" Her voice was not at all condescending and the pain in her voice was evidence enough that she was genuinely concerned for my well-being. But Bella dear, I thought to myself, I just can't do it anymore. I loved this girl. More than anything else in the world. It just had ceased to become enough. Something had snapped inside me.

For so very long Bella Swan had insisted that I was no longer the Jacob she knew and loved. _Her Jacob_. And to be quite honest I really wasn't anymore. Whatever this thing was that I'd become I doubted it would change.

I took a breath, my chin resting against my hand as I leaned into the armrest of the couch. I sort of laughed discordantly and my face subconsciously curled up into a sneer. "I'm doing great Bells. Hell's Bells." I laughed again, perhaps eerily at that silly reference I made. Her face just distorted as she became indignant about my reaction to her honestly worried questions.

"Jake…you're being an ass. What's wrong with you?" She was unusually uppity and much less patient today then she'd ever been with me. I realized now if I still wanted to get my revenge I had to pretend I was still remotely interested in returning to her good graces. I sighed deeply and curled back into myself. Drawing my feet up onto the seat cushion I was sitting on and wrapping my arms around my knees. "I dunno…" I said in a voice that was surprisingly convincing. Of course…I was still in love with the girl and as much as I wished I could just write her off it was next to impossible.

"I'm sorry Bella. It's just taking me longer than I'd hoped to recover and come to terms with everything…you know?" I glanced up at her, feeling genuinely upset about all the events that had recently transpired. It seemed Bella was eventually going to become a vampire and marry that body glitter-wearing Edward of hers.

She mimicked my sigh and bowed her head, running those slender fingers through long chocolate tresses. My damn mind fantasized unhealthily about this woman. I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose and tried to refocus my attention somewhere else. "Maybe if you and Edward could be friends this would be easier…less painful." Her voice cracked at the end and I mentally berated myself, knowing what I was doing to her.

I both loved and hated myself, but immediately caved in to the self-loathing side. It was so much easier. "Well…" I started to speak, but then stopped myself. I wanted to go through with my plan and couldn't turn back even now, but still what if I hurt Bella worse than now. My eyes met her own for a split-second then I turned my gaze downward. I was going to do it. And if she wound up despising me for it that was just something I'd have to live with…or perhaps not. That possibility was still out there.

I cleared my dry throat. Obviously my body was unwilling to go along with what my mind was telling it to do. "Well," I started once again. "Maybe we could hang out or something. Edward and I. I promise to be civil." I stared at her, the girl of my dreams, seriously for a good few minutes it seemed. I mocked the image of a dog with its tail between its legs hoping she'd appreciate the joke. Finally she responded. "I'll ask him about it." A smile cracked those lips once more and I was pleased momentarily.

This façade would all fall through the cracks in the floor I was about to make, but I didn't feel regret. All that seethed through me now as Bella was about to walk out the door was the burning desire to give Edward what was coming to him.

xxxxxxx---xxxxxxx

The next few months felt like a blur to me. After our little chat Bella told me she would try to convince Edward to my idea of him and me spending some time together. Of course the thought was nauseating to me, but I didn't need months to "mentally prepare" myself. Well honestly I kind of did. There were certain things I needed to prepare myself with. Things that were fundamental in this seemingly well-thought-out plan. Not to be vain or anything, but when dealing with a vampire one had to be well thought out. Especially if your bloodsucker was the mindreading kind. I knew the moment he set foot in front of me he'd be probing my mind like the pathetic loser he was so I made sure to prepare my mind.

When I got a phone call at one of the most random times of day…three a.m. I was shocked to say the least. Shocked that he called at that hour and shocked that I'd woken up to answer him. "Dog." His voice was hard and cold when he heard me pick up the phone. The man didn't give me a second's peace to gather my groggy self before yammering on. "I know you're tired and most likely mentally swearing at me, but give it a rest for a moment. Bella wants us to hang out, but she said it was your idea. You got something up your sleeve."

I wanted to snicker at that line, but managed to remain composed even mustering up some sappy sounding voice. "Nah…I just wanna make Bella happy. She wants us to be friends, you know?" I was surprised at myself at how convincing that sounded, and hoped that the mind-reading snake couldn't read my thoughts over the phone line.

"Well…" He continued, his voice sounding a lot less harsh. Perhaps he couldn't read my thoughts and actually believed my performance. "On Saturday Bella is having a 'sleepover' with my sister. We could hang out then that is unless you're opposed to nighttime activity. Do we really have to do this?" He sounded almost child-like at that moment. Like he was wining at the thought of spending more time with me than necessary.

At that I was fully awake and sat up in bed, scratching the back of my neck. "Umm…well I wouldn't mind it. Maybe it'll be better than we're making it out to be." The desperation in my voice was too good, but the human brain is a magically mysterious thing. Several months of telling myself something over and over again had actually worked. I'd managed to semi-convince myself that I was in love with Edward Cullen.

Yeah, that's a disturbing idea I know, but I had to do it if I wanted my plan to work. My voice even cracked at the end giving off the idea that I wanted to see him more than simply make Bella happy. I wondered if he came out with that impression as well. The silence on the other end made me squirm again. It would suck if my plan fell through here. Before I even had a chance to get it started.

I heard a long, exasperated sigh then his cool, calm voice came on again. "Fine. I'll meet you in front of the cinema in Port Angeles at eight' o clock sharp on Saturday." Abruptly the phone call ended and I was left listening to the dead sound piercing on the other line. I pushed the end button on my cell phone and flopped down on my bed again, too tired to even bother wondering how he'd gotten my number.

xxxxxxx---xxxxxxx

Saturday rolled around and there I was standing by the cinema impatiently waiting for the leech. I'd been early and he came waltzing by right on time. Eight' o clock just like he'd said. I smiled faintly at him and brought my right hand into my hair, scratching my head. This plan was much more difficult to keep up now that I had it going. Coupled with the thoughts I'd forced into my brain during those months. It was a strange inner battle, but I was determined to win. At least this time.

He cleared his throat and stared at me looking as bored as ever. I chuckled nervously; the effects of my brain half thinking it was in love with this person. He raised a brow quizzically at me then proceeded to clear his throat. "So what're we going to do? Let's make this quick." I nodded quickly in agreement and glanced about as if in search of places to go, but my subconscious knew exactly where we were going to go.

Finally I met his gaze. Dark obsidians meeting lightly furious seeming ambers. He moved his head as if in a gesture to my apparently blank mind. That was a good sign. It appeared as if I was doing an excellent job at concealing my so-called plan. "Let's go to a club." That lovey-dovey side spilled forth and I mentally scolded myself. That sounded strangely off to my original thought, but I decided to go with it.

His eyes narrowed and he shook his head, bitter laughter erupting from him. "Seriously? You are aware of what I am and what clubs entail correct?" For the first time it seemed he let himself go and a tiny smirk jerked at the side of my lips. The words following his just spilled out of my mouth like this was a normal conversation. Perhaps I was a little too good at convincing myself of things. This was certainly going to be an odd night I thought.

"That's why you'll dance with me. My disgusting smell will keep your blood-sucking instincts at bay." I winked at him. That wasn't right. This night seemed much more off than it should have been. My all too well working brain appeared to be taking on a slightly different role than I had intended. But maybe this was good. Surprise attack.

However, the vampire's mouth fell open and he was now glaring at me. "You think this is some sort of joke don't you?" Edward shook his head and began to turn away. It was then that my body did something involuntary and one of my arms jolted out, reaching for his coat sleeve. "Wait!" I demanded, that pathetic tone creeping up in my voice yet again.

He turned around to peer at me, a curious expression carefully composed across his features. He seemed contemplative to me and I waited…seemingly patiently… as he deliberated. "I'm sure I'll regret this, but why not?" This was a strangely peaceful night for the two of us. Usually we couldn't be in the same room together, but I was making sure to keep my thoughts relatively tame since I knew those were what usually ticked him off.

We found some seedy looking club and managed to both get in somehow. Well we both appeared to be the appropriate age evidently so it wasn't very difficult. Once inside I pulled him toward the dance floor, that scary side of me taking control once again. Oddly enough the sparkly leech complied.

I still maintain that I was the first to let loose that night. I figured I might as well if I wanted to make things believable. It would be best just to clear my mind and do whatever came. A heavy, techno-sounding beat came on (**A/N: **_"Are You the One" – The Presets_ and _"Don't Want to Hurt You" – The Sounds_. ;D) and I just started moving ignoring any other person around me, including Edward. I'd never felt this free and it felt good to be that way even for that moment.

For a few minutes I was the only one out of the two of us thrashing about as I was doing. My glitter wearing partner for the night looked uneasy and embarrassed even. Maybe he was just wondering how I could move so stupidly without an ounce of alcohol in me. He really is something of a prude. Finally, though that uptight prig let himself goo. He moved from side to side very slowly to the beat of the music.

I shook my head at him vigorously before taking my hands and placing them around his waist, bringing his hips closer to my own as I tried to get him to move in unison with me. Seriously…this guy couldn't dance for the life of him. Either that or he just wouldn't dance at least to music like this. He immediately pushed me way, but with evident effort not to be to brusque. We were literally smashed together by the large amount of people in the building. Any effort he made to get away from me would be inevitably pointless if he wanted to keep his secret a secret.

"What's your damage? You're not having fun?" I leaned forward to whisper to him and I could have sworn he shook a little. It was painfully warm in there and the fact that my body temperature rose far above the norm was not helping either. I wondered briefly if it was conspicuous to him. The clear difference in our body temperatures.

He glared at me, all motion halted and leaned forward to whisper back. "I don't like what it feels like you're trying to do Black. I'm getting out of here." I frowned… Crap! He couldn't leave. I felt like I was getting so close, but wait a second…did I just shiver from the cool of his breath? I narrowed my eyes at him then sighed, probably appearing more pathetic than usual. "I just…" I flashed a look at him before doing the unthinkable. Stop it body! Stop it! But it was too late. My lips meshed with his in a sloppy kiss.

Immediately I was pushed forward and an even harsher, slightly more confused face met mine. I let out a coughing sound, not bothering to put up a fight. It was more realistic that way. "I'm sorry… Just dance with me a little longer, please?" I hoped he'd comply and my over-heated body gave my mind an idea that seemed way out there at the moment, but looking back now was perfect. "Don't you feel the tension too?" My brows knit together as I squinted my eyes a bit, knowing his excellent hearing allowed him to know completely what I was saying even with the loud boom of the bass in whatever song was playing now.

For a few seconds I thought it was over. I'd have to just give up without the revenge I so desperately wanted, but then he met my gaze. "Just a little longer."

And this time he didn't flinch when I placed my arms around his waist and ground my hips into his in an incredibly suggestive fashion. In fact he started moving along with me. As if the both of us were thoroughly drunk off the music and heavy atmosphere we were drowning in.

Every body in the room seemed to be moving together just as suggestively as we had been and perhaps everything just got to me. I'd gotten too caught up in the moment and was evidently pressing my boner into the cold, hard body next to me. Edward's eyes widened and I could tell he was about to push me away yet again. But quick thinking allowed me to clamp my muscular arms around his neck effectively capturing him there for the time being.

I ignored any motion from him and immediately attacked his neck with my mouth like a vampire would. No pun intended. At first he struggled, but apparently that marble skin did feel. It was tough and smooth like an actual stone, but the chill felt strangely good in my mouth. I sucked on one spot for a long time, still moving rhythmically into him. I paid no attention to his body's reaction. I figured vampire's maybe didn't have that sort of reaction anyway.

It wasn't until I heard a breathy moan-type sound come out of my blood-sucking friend that I realized he had a hard-on as well. Apparently I could turn on a male. A vampiric male no less. That devilish grin I'd been keeping for this moment finally made its appearance as he decidedly pressed my body even closer into his, licking his earlobe as I did so. "Wanna get out of here?"

Maybe I was lucky enough that he wasn't thinking straight and that some cheap motel was located conveniently right next door. But either way I was able to drag Edward effin' Cullen out of that club and into a motel room next door. As soon as we were inside the room I pushed him onto the bed and leapt on top of him catching his lips with my own in yet another messy kiss. I'm not the type to be gentle…especially in these circumstances. I had to be quick before he regained proper consciousness.

He was a surprisingly willing partner and allowed my tongue access into his mouth fairly quickly. I wondered how many times this mouth had met Bella's for a split-second then pushed the thought from my mind. I had to keep focused on the task at hand to ensure success.

His hands were everywhere and I realized he must know what he was doing. That made one of us. The idea that I was losing my virginity or more accurately giving up my virginity to this guy briefly passed my mind fiercely, but then I told myself this cause was worth it. What was I saving myself for anyhow?

He must've heard that last thought because he suddenly became a bit more harsh. Moving his chilling fingers up my black tee shirt as the kiss deepened. Maybe he too was seeking some kind of revenge? I ignored that idea focusing on this leech's impossibly difficult button down shirt. He chuckled into our somewhat long kiss and broke form it, before removing my shirt entirely. Once that was off he began assisting me with the buttons and soon after his shirt was thrown on the floor combined with the meeting of our lips yet again.

Was all this hatred merely pent up sexual tension? It seemed too strange. Both of us were far too obsessed with Bella to have any "pent up emotions" for one another. Besides, the idea of actually being romantically interested in this guy seemed utterly repulsive. This was all for revenge. Nothing more.

Soon enough the both of us were completely naked. Inexperienced as I was, I knew how two men had sex. The idea had never escaped. I wasn't as naïve as Bella wanted to believe I was. Quickly I was straddling him, our lips still glued to each other in one incredibly wet and rather raunchy kiss. But this was never meant to passionate or beautiful.

I turned the vampire over climbing over him. He complied so easily it almost scared me, but I kept on going unwilling to give up until I'd gotten what I wanted. He bent over, knees and elbows to the mattress with his ass in the air ready to take it. He kneeled over the bed behind him and reached down to spread his legs a bit further apart. I knew he probably had a tighter end than anything and figured that this might hurt me more than him but decided to do it anyway.

I forced myself into his entry with a deeper groan than his small grunt and it was apparent to me now this would hurt me more. I sighed a little rethinking my plan, but honestly could I turn back now. I was about to get my arch-rival in the ass. I had to finish what I was doing or I'd be even lower than I would be if I did.

My hands gripped his sides as I thrust arduously into him. My fingernails drove themselves into his sides with each push and it hit me that with this sort of friction I'd probably come a whole lot quicker. Ignoring the pain that was searing through me I began pressing deeper and with great force each time. I leaned into his backside, conforming my body to his own as one of my hands reached into his blonde-ish hair ripping at the strands I was able to grasp. I heard a cry escape his mouth; perhaps from the pain or my overly strong hands. I was stronger than an average human even outside of my wolf form. My other hand was gripping his abdomen. Finger's clenched to his navel.

A similar groan erupted from my mouth as I began to feel the quivers engulf me. And these didn't come from me being angry. The pleasure seemed insurmountable at this point. I felt as if I would never come despite how impossibly close my body felt to it. Maybe it was the pain coupled with it.

I was wrong, however, and finally I released into him before letting go and pulling out before collapsing on top of him. He pushed me to the side and glanced at me. I wondered how ridiculous I looked, chest heaving, drenched in sweat. He was even slightly damp from the perspiration that had dripped from my too hot body.

It was now or never. I stood to collect my clothing and he made no move to stop me as if he knew this was what it should be. A one-night stand never to be spoken of again. But I had other plans for my little sparkling twinkle-toes. I dressed quickly making sure to keep my thoughts jumbled to keep him off my scent. And then once I was fully clothed I leaned over the bed next to his naked form simply laying there probably regretting this entirely. I'd help him with that agony now. Whisper my final words to him and drive the knife deeper.

"That's the difference between you and I Edward. I'm a _filthy mongrel_ and just displayed my _dominance_ over you." The sardonic snicker that left my mouth after that whispered statement was inevitable and as I left the room I began singing a Fall Out Boy song that had originally inspired this act.

"_I don't care what you think._

_As long as it's about me._

_The best of us can find happiness in misery!"_

And with that I ran down the street and toward the forested area surrounding Port Angeles, phasing as soon as I'd made it out of sight. I'd come into that blood-sucking pansy asses life just like as unexpectedly as a hurricane. Leaving just as much devastation as well.

* * *

P.S. I might continue this if people like it enough and I actually feel inspired enough to make a sequel. Who knows...


	2. Bad Romance

I hope this doesn't come out horrendously OOC. But here is the long-awaited part two of The Masochism Tango. Edward's take on the matter. I called it Bad Romance and will probably have the same challenge. Begin with the word bad and end with the word romance. I deeply apologize for taking so incredibly long with this. I have no excuse besides my lack of muse. Hope I am forgiven and just to let everyone know I will take requests from people for any genre (book/movie/TV show/etc.) so long as I know it. PM me! XD

This part takes place after what happened in Butterflies and Hurricanes. Lyrics are from the song "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga.

**I own nothing.**

* * *

_I want your love._

_And I want your revenge._

_I want your love._

_I don't want to be friends._

You know things are bad when instead of thinking about wanting to rip your arch rival to shreds upon meeting his obsidian gaze you find yourself lost in vivid visions of having rough but passionate sex with him. I don't know exactly when these hallucinations (or what have you) first began. Honestly, now that I think about it I'm starting to believe they just crept up on me; slowly but steadily taking up most of my consciousness so that even thoughts of Bella had begun to be put on the back-burner.

Clearly, I was frustrated by the fact that the woman who was supposed to be my sole beloved had taken the backseat to her filthy mongrel of a friend, Jacob Black. Yes, I still had this sort of hatred for him, but as many people say there's a fine line between love and hate. Both of them can turn into unhealthy obsessions and there must be a good explanation for being so infatuated with a person that you hate them with such passion. And maybe when I'd finally come to this conclusion; allowing myself to admit this simple fact, I realized that perhaps there was more to my rivalry with that shape-shifter than met the eye.

It is in a way depressing considering he is Bella's best friend and she means the world to me. I never meant to hurt her and I know the circumstances leading up to that night with Jacob could've been avoided and therefore stopping my precarious relationship with Jacob from taking a turn it never should have. However, I now believe that at that moment I had set aside Bella's importance for something that had become more urgent to me. As much as it pains me to admit this I know now that I wanted to explore that side of things with Jacob.

He thinks he took me and therefore was able to exact the perfect revenge. I let him. Jacob is perhaps unaware of that, but I let him take his revenge. I knew what he was thinking though he thought he was masking everything so well. I let him. I allowed Jacob Black to get me in the ass because somewhere deep down it was what I truly wanted.

The whole time it was happening I made sure to make like he was in control and afterward like I felt disappointed in myself for letting it happen. In many ways I am still disappointed in myself, but I try not to think too much about that. It's been a week since those events and I'm still unsure what to do about Bella. What I want to do about Bella. I do love her and want the best for her, but another part of me was definitely thrilled by Jacob Black finally admitting he felt that same tension.

He'd never actually said anything akin to being in love with me and I knew his little sappy act wasn't completely true. But I could hear his thoughts and was more than aware that he enjoyed what he was doing a little more than was necessary and not because of the impending revenge he was about to get on me. He'd been secretly wanting it too. It probably just took that stupid mutt longer to realize it than it had me. It probably hadn't hit him until after the fact. And because I wasn't desperate I waited for it to come to him.

I still don't know what to do about Bella and it's killing me that I have to think about this now. She doesn't know, of that much I'm sure and she'd probably never know, but nevertheless I feel like she should know. I'm pulled out of my thoughts by the incessant ringing of a cell phone I'd forgotten I had. For a moment I'm worried it's Bella, but the number on the screen is one I've only ever seen once before and I hesitate to pick it up for a second. Only one second though and then I push the talk button waiting to hear a voice I'm supposed to hate.

"Hello." His voice seems almost broken and I raise a brow at the sound, pressing the phone closer to my ear as if I can't already hear him well enough. I step out of my room and am out of my home within seconds. I'd prefer to have this conversation out of earshot of anyone I live with. None of them should ever know what happened.

Soon enough I answer him. "Why're you calling me?" I know it's harsh of me, but that's who I am and nothing about my relationship with Jacob Black should ever be soft, sweet, caring. It just wouldn't feel right.

He sighs into the receiver then and gawd save me. If I'm not going to hell already I probably am now. There's something horrendously wrong with the fact that his husky voice actually gave me chills. It's impossible for me to get chills, but somehow I was able to feel them. Either way I think he's about to say something; not sure since he's probably too far for me to hear his thoughts. So I wait in silence.

It's only a few moments and then I hear him inhale sharply before decidedly speaking. "I don't know… I wanted to…." He trails off and I am now acutely aware that I've somehow had the same affect on him that his sighing had on me earlier.

I clear my throat and glance over each shoulder. I'm in the middle of the forested area surrounding Forks, Washington, but you can never be too careful. "Is this about what happened last week?" In that second I can almost visualize his expression. Jacob believes he was able to hide his emotions and underlying intentions from me, but really he was like an open book. He's an easy read, but I'm somehow entranced despite this. He's interesting without being difficult if that makes any sense at all. Perhaps it shouldn't.

He takes in another breath as if he's been composing himself. "Yeah. It was supposed to be… But instead I'm now… And it's pissing me off." He just kind of rambles on, breaks in sentences that no one else would probably understand. Even Bella. But I know exactly what he's getting at. Maybe because I have the same itching feeling lashing at my insides. It's not a fuzzy, bubbly warm feeling. Instead seeming more like I'm being ripped by razor sharp claws and idly I wonder if it's the same for him.

"Where are you?" I decide to take the initiative. Jacob Black was never in control. Not even from the beginning. He just thought he was.

"On the res." Suddenly the guy's gained a bit of confidence. I don't even bother wondering where it came from. I'm sure it has something to do with the tone of my voice and the fact that I asked him that proving I actually wanted this just as much as he had. But I'm over all that and let him have his moment. He can take a while to catch up, but is still a bit overly-confident. Maybe his contradiction is what draws me to him.

"Feel like going out?" The grin in my voice should be apparent, but I don't think he quite gets it. What a dipshit.

"Dancing?" That same smirk is evident in his voice and now I'm positive he's regained all his annoying confidence back, but I'm not complaining. I wouldn't admit it to anyone, but I like that Jacob Black is arrogant. He mirrors my own over-confidence and for whatever reason that excites me.

"You'd better hurry your ass up. I don't like waiting." And I hang up the phone. Some people might find it strange that we're talking like old buddies after he just supposedly got me in the ass as revenge for stealing the girl of his dreams, but both of us understand what that phone call was all about. I said he was slow to catch up, but when he does it's like he's racing me so he'll be one page ahead. That competition, the rivalry, that's what really gets me going. I like to be challenged and Jacob Black never fails when it comes to bringing me a decent struggle.

I'm at that same club we met up at last Saturday. It's still daylight. Though cloudy, the sun is still out. I glance at my watch and within minutes find myself no longer alone and waiting. There stands Jacob with cut off shorts and no shirt, his chest heaving as if he'd just run a marathon. I snort at the sight of him. Sometimes he's really ridiculous, but it's usually rather entertaining.

"You still lost." I grin at him triumphantly and the sour expression on his face makes it all worthwhile.

He shoves me a bit roughly and I take it in his language that means 'Shut the fuck up.' But he's still smiling so I'm guessing it's good-natured. Not that it matters too much. We are both aware what this meeting is about. Neither of us should be under any delusions. He stares at me momentarily as if waiting for me to say something. I meet his gaze with my topaz hues. His eyes seeming like liquid onyx as we both wait in silence for something to happen.

And again I'm forced to take the initiative. "If you're not going to do anything. I guess it's my turn to take a shot at vengeance." The edge to my voice should give him the impression that I am somewhat irritated. Which I am. At both myself and him, but it's something I've decided I simply won't deny. Bella or not.

"What the hell?" Oh he's getting all indignant now and the hardening, cold solid in his eyes is just what I wanted to see.

A struggle. I want this to be a struggle not something slow and beautiful. It would seem gross if it was. He bites at his lip, worrying the tender flesh there and I watch him carefully before glancing over my shoulder and shoving him against a wall after I'm sure no one around will really notice. His brows pull together in confusion and frustration and I'm turning my lips up in a crooked smirk. "What did you think this was gonna be, Black?"

His mouth opens slightly as if he's about to answer me then he shuts it. "Where's Bella?"

I reel back, momentarily taken aback by his question. I hadn't been thinking too hard about her lately and that should've been a clue to me. It depressed me and I took a second to recover. "She's with my sister. Shopping." I retorted bluntly. I worried how these actions would affect Bella and my relationship with her, but maybe (and this is kind of hard for me to come to grips with) this was more important to me than she was. It's a harsh realization, but at the very least I wasn't in denial any longer.

His expression softened for a second as if he was having the same internal battle with himself then he regained the fiery stare and was quickly flipping me around so I was shoved up against the wall.

His hot hands grasped at the cool flesh around my wrists as he pinned them against the brick wall of the alley-way I'd shoved him into earlier. His eyes held this dangerous gaze before he bent over and plundered my mouth with his own. Soon enough his tongue had found its way into my mouth and my own had come out to battle for dominance. Just because I was "pinned" to the wall didn't mean I was letting him take all the shots.

This was what I had been wanting. Aching for. And now that it was here I wasn't about to let everything go down in an alley. I pulled away from the kiss I'd been delighting in only moments earlier and tugged him away from the brick wall. "C'mon." I spoke curtly as I dragged him along toward that same ratty motel we'd stayed in last time.

As soon as we had a room I was hauling him up a flight of stairs and through the door only to shove him against the thing once it had been closed. It was my turn now. I had him pressed up against the now locked door of our motel room and he was pinned against me and the architecture. I forced his legs open a bit with my own thigh resting between them and could feel him hard, throbbing. It made me smirk as he brought my mouth the over-heated flesh of his neck.

I'd never been fond of the guy's scent, but at the moment couldn't get enough of it as I lapped ad sucked greedily around his nape reaching up at his jaw-line so he tilted his head up further, offering more of that tanned skin.

I felt his fingers running hotly up my sides and immediately reach to undo the buttons of my shirt. He'd gotten better at that and soon had my shirt off of me with eager hands exploring terrain they'd only touched once before. I loved the way his burning fingers felt on my too-cold skin. The contrast was exhilarating and sent a whole new wave of desire through me.

I now had him pressed into the mattress of the dingy motel room, mouths locked in yet another battle for dominance. I'd managed to get his own shirt off when he unbuttoned my own and had as such also tugged his pants off. His forceful tongue ran along the roof of my mouth before engaging my own again as he dragged my jeans and boxers off roughly searing against my erection. I released a gruff moan from the friction and he seemed to chuckle a little into our kiss. Fucker.

I tore his boxers off and pulled away from the kiss only to take his lower lip in my mouth and drag it angrily between my teeth. I bucked into him relishing in the unbidden groan I received from him. Cool meeting burning in a torturous friction even I couldn't refuse. I wasn't going to be taken this time though. It was my turn to get revenge.

I rolled my hips slowly into his own and grinned down. "Fuck." He probably intended to spit the word out, but it sounded more breathy than anything.

His breath hitched and it was all the encouragement I needed. I was leaning over him now, a hand reaching down to spread his legs wider open. The action was almost unnecessary as his legs spread without my advances.

For a minute I debated about prep, but the ass hadn't thought of that consideration for me (not that it really mattered) so I decided against it. This was meant to be rough anyway. Neither of us was worried about physically hurting the other besides I doubt I really needed it taking in the circumstances.

Nevertheless, I decided to distract him by biting harshly into his shoulder the instant I plunged into him. The strident scream I received from him making me grin. His fingers clawed at my back, I'm sure making little crescents there for the time being. I stilled for a while, allowing him to get used to the feeling before I actually moved. When his eyes cracked open and he was sort of glaring at me I took that as a sign he was ready.

I started off steadily; pushing in and out but as soon as I was sure I'd hit his spot and had him gasping with his back arched I couldn't keep myself at that pace. I sped up with him moving along with me. Our lips met in a messy union as I brought a hand unconsciously to his short black hair, tugging at the tendrils as if I wanted to rip them out. His hot, hot hands grasped at my hips as if he wanted to keep them moving faster and faster in synch with his own.

The action was mad and disorganized with no seeming beat to the movement, but I could feel that I was almost there and it was plain to see so was he.

Jacob's face was painted with a sheen of perspiration, his eyes shut tightly as he kept his hips pushing up and down with my own movement. We'd pulled away from the kiss a while back and I buried my face in the crook of his neck, my own eyes shut as I felt that impending overwhelming sensation coming. His breath was scorching my ear as he huffed out, an almost bitten back moan leaving those sinful lips every so often.

When I thought I was about to come crashing off of that precipice of lust I heard Jacob fucking Black almost beg to me in a broken whisper. "Touch me." His voice was restrained; probably from the feeling of me pound into him without reserve. I wanted to grin at the request but my mind was much to hazed. I was panting which isn't normal for me, but was able to think clearly enough to oblige him as I reached down and grasped him.

He took in a gasp sharply and within seconds released. I guess that was really all I needed as I was now free-falling; coming into my arch rival before pulling out of him slowly. I took in a deep breath and rolled over off of him, glancing in his direction and watching his chest rise and fall in heaves as he came down with me.

"Fuck." I laughed breathlessly at his amazing vocabulary, but remained lying in the musty sheets of that nasty bed. I wasn't sure what exactly to do. I didn't want to leave and that was definitely a red flag to me because I felt like I was obligated to. What about Bella?

Both of us had to be thinking the same thing, but vengeful Jacob Black decided first to get over her because of me. I found him propped over me as he'd regained normal breathed and staring down at me with those dark ebony eyes I'd grown so accustomed to. He let his weight go on top of me and caught my mouth in another kiss. Slow, but not sweet. It was another battle, but not a desperate one. Just him trying to say that even though he had been taken by me this time he was still somewhat in control... And I let him. Forgetting about Bella.

I knew eventually she'd have to know, but for now I simply relished in this. The completely amiss factor of this whole situation. Jacob and I should never have let our "relationship" take this turn, but it wasn't as if we could go back now. Besides this was about opposition. A game we both knew neither of us would win, but thoroughly enjoyed playing. This would never be a romance. At least not one of the normal definition of the word.

_You know that I want you._

_And you know that I need you._

_I want it bad._

_Your bad romance._

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Reviews make me a happy writer who wants to write even more! xD

And that request offer is still open! I love writing things that make people happy.


	3. Tell Me Where It Hurts

I know I said I was going to make _The Masochism Tango _a two-shot, but a lot of people subscribed to it so I thought it'd be easier for them if I just posted the new chapters here. I took forever with an update again. I'm really sorry, but thanks for everyone who's been waiting patiently. I appreciate it. Special shout out to **XxEliza-JanexX **who's followed every part of this story. Love you, doll. :3

This chapter will be split between Jacob and Edward's POV. A bit of time has passed between this chapter and the last so the two of them aren't exactly just "sex buddies" or whatever. There are "feelings" just unspoken and ignored ones.

The story _I'm Still Breathing _goes just before this chapter of _The Masochism Tango_. It's Bella's POV and her reaction to discovering Ed and Jake's "relationship". It's in my stories list on my profile if anyone wants to check it out before reading this.

**I OWN NOTHING.**

_Lyrics._

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**Xxxxx-Jacob-xxxxX**

You'd think after years and years of knowing someone you could gauge what to expect from them and if they were close enough to you then you would never have to worry about there being bad blood between you because well you had a bond. However, things can all go down the drain in a heartbeat no matter the circumstances. At least if you commit a "sin" like the one I had.

So there I was, the topic of a heated discussion between many of the elders of the tribe. My father and alpha included. It was embarrassing, to say the least, that the La Push pack had become all too aware of my covert meetings with Edward the blood-sucker. But to let my father in on the tryst was unbearable and I had to sit in the middle of it all just trying my best not to get angry as furious accusations were shot at me from every direction.

I remained silent for the entirety of the meeting, refusing to give anyone the pleasure of hearing me admit anything, though they had hard-evidence all things considered. I was just more worried about the outcome of this whole ordeal than anything else. What was going to happen to me? They could call me filthy and disgusting. Even shun me for a while. I'd just hoped I wasn't going to be exiled (for lack of a better word).

The only thing I paid attention to was when they started talking about what would happen with me. Were they going to let me stay or would I have to leave? It seemed this was clearly an unprecedented case and everyone was in a huff about how to handle it. All these ideas were being thrown out; each one supposed to be the best one for the case. At least that is what all the owners of the ideas claimed.

Then someone said maybe they should talk to the Cullens. They were probably in a frenzy as well. Apparently what Edward and I had done and had been doing for the past few months was completely and utterly wrong.

I sighed, upset that I had obviously disappointed my father and he was still willing to stick up for me. He'd always been a great father and now he was facing his only son possibly getting kicked off the reservation. I watched him out of the corner of my eye as I drove back home from the meeting. He didn't say a word the whole way there and just stared ahead.

I swallowed hard as we reached the driveway and I parked, getting out and helping my dad into his wheelchair. He stiffened at my touch and I did my best to remain calm. All this was just too much. I was overwhelmed with emotions I didn't normally allow myself to acknowledge and now my own father was giving me the silent treatment. Beautiful.

As soon as I was sure my dad was completely ignoring my presence I went outside and phased as soon as I could, relishing in the feeling of the cool earth against my paws. Ever since the discovery of my "double life" I had been taken off duty. I did nothing for the pack and was on a sort of suspension meaning I wasn't supposed to phase unless completely necessary. Who knew why? They were just probably trying to be difficult. But I did it anyway. I was tired of being under house arrest. I had to get out.

I ran as fast and as far as my strong legs could take me until I heard a voice in my head. "You're not supposed to be out here." It was Seth, his voice was gentle but still filled with warning. Out of everyone I like to think he was the least disgusted with the whole ordeal. Disappointed, probably because he was friends with Bella too, but I think he was okay with me.

"You should get out of here before someone else finds out. Just go back. Things'll probably cool down… eventually." He seemed apologetic as he sent his words to me. I stopped in my tracks, bowed my head and turned around. I probably never would've come back if I hadn't encountered Seth, but I guess I'm kind of glad I did.

A couple of days later the vampires came out to meet us in an open area in the forest. Reminiscent of the one we fought the newborns in. Maybe they were one in the same, but that didn't really matter much now. All of that seemed so far away now.

I looked across and there was Edward who seemed slightly vexed by the idea that he was being treated with the same form that an actual child might be. Though his "family" seemed more tense than angry with him.

Things went on for a while as they chatted away our futures. More like chatting than arguing. Carlisle, ever the pacifist, didn't want to have to take any drastic measures. He said that despite this being an unheard of circumstance he didn't think it had to be treated like some kind of fatal and contagious disease. Cast us out like lepers.

Sam told him it just wasn't the way things were done and wondered how we could even possibly keep it up anyhow. Everyone had to put in their two cents. At least everyone whose opinion would really be taken into account and that was definitely not mine. All the while I was seething with fury. How could they do this over something so stupid? It wasn't like we were going against some ancient treaty or whatever… were we?

Besides I wasn't about to deny my whole life on the reservation for a leech like Edward. It wasn't like we were "in love". Just thinking that makes my skin crawl and as soon as that thought bubbled up into my mind I caught the eyes of the sparkly man in question himself. He was snickering and when he noticed me looking at him sent a lopsided sneer my way.

I scoffed a little, but my lips were still tugging at the sides in an almost smile. This was why I bothered so long with Edward. Calling it love wouldn't be right, though some people would argue that it had to be something with the weight of love if we were both willing to jeopardize things with Bella over it. Whatever. I will never say to anyone that I am in love with Edward Cullen because it would just feel weird. I couldn't admit something like that even to him. And I'm sure he understood completely.

I licked my lips and realized I'd stopped listening to the arguments. I brought myself back from whatever silly trance I'd gone under watched intently, waiting for an outcome. Anything would do now, but it didn't seem like things were really going to go anywhere meaningful any time soon.

I looked away feeling incredibly annoyed by all this hoopla over something that really shouldn't be such a big deal anyhow. I'm sure Jasper was trying his best to keep the whole mood calm, but it didn't seem to be working. Maybe he wasn't able to focus enough because of all the pointless crap going on.

I watched the Cullens, each of them were there with their faces kind of stiffened as they argued back and forth fervently with the group of Quileutes who'd come out to meet them. It seemed like a never-ending cycle and at this point I'd rather be exiled than have to live with these people who made such a big deal over something so unimportant.

Not even Bella had caused such an uproar. In fact, she had handled the whole thing with a lot of grace. Yeah, she'd called me up a couple of times to swear at me or call me a name, but she was entitled to all of that. She had a right to be upset. And honestly, her opinion was more important than anyone else here. Of course, I felt regret every time Edward and I got together, but I didn't want to stop myself. Maybe there was a part of me that actually was in love with the blood-sucker. Shit-tastic. I really hope he didn't just hear that last thought. He needs never to know that.

I attempted to cover it up quickly by focusing my attention on what Rosalie was saying. I'd never liked her and vice versa and she seemed to be with the party that wanted us out and away. I narrowed my eyes at her and took in a deep breath, about to speak when…

"I'll go." Edward was talking. His face was placid, like the stone his skin seemed to be made out of.

I swallowed and it hit me. He wanted to comply? What? But why? Before my befuddled mind could get its bearings he went on. Like always. "It's probably for the best anyhow." He gave his family a gentle smile and was about to excuse himself when Carlisle spoke to him. It was softer, probably meant exclusively for Edward and their family, but I could hear a little bit of it. "You don't have to do this… entirely unnecessary…" Most of it I didn't catch because those leeches can make their voices softer than a mouse's whisper, but I got the important parts I like to think.

Edward seemed to be contemplating whatever it was Carlisle had told him, but gave the doctor another smile and patted him on the shoulder. What kind of response is that? What the hell did it mean? I was watching them raptly, waiting to see just what was going to happen, but I didn't get it. When I saw Carlisle and most of the other Cullens give Edward a somber look I had caught on.

"I'm leaving too then. Screw all this. I don't need it. I'm sorry dad, but…" I couldn't finish my sentence as I looked at him with regret. He met my gaze then and nodded his head like he understood what I meant. Everyone else looked at me with shock. I just shrugged at them and started walking then running.

I phased as soon as I could and ran quickly to my home to gather my belongings. I didn't know where I was going, but I'd figure it out somehow. I stuffed almost all of my clothes into a few duffle bags and a backpack, leaving most everything else. I couldn't carry everything and I wanted to leave things for my dad to remember me by. I know he wasn't as upset with me as he seemed and who knows… maybe someday I'd be back in that room.

For now I'm on the road leading to Port Angeles. I took my Rabbit because I had rebuilt that thing with my own money. It was rightfully mine and I desperately needed a car. I didn't know what I was going to do when I got to the city, but it was better than Forks where Bella and Charlie were. Didn't want to risk that. I just hope she's doing okay.

I turned the radio on to get my thoughts off of anything and everything when a silver car whizzed right by me only to get into my lane and slow down. What a piece of work. I was about to change lanes, but the moron switched over just before me so I honked at him. It wasn't until I fully focused on the car that I recognized it. He'd taken his Volvo. I shook my head and pulled over idly wondering if he'd follow.

He did and was out of his car faster than me even though I'd parked first. Stupid vampire. "Need a lift?" He grinned at my glaring face. I always glared at him especially when he was being a prick.

"I've got my own car, thanks." I gestured to my Rabbit, still glaring. All of this seemed very surreal like it wasn't actually happening and maybe I was having a really bad dream. Maybe I didn't want to wake up though. That's a scary thought. Very scary.

He chuckled, making a confident smirk appear on his lips as he approached. The bastard was listening to my thoughts. And that made me remember what I wanted to forget for the rest of my life. What if he heard what I had been thinking earlier? Please say he hadn't.

"I did." He confirmed my fears, the self-assured grin being replaced by a gentler smile. Now he was right beside my unmoving body. I hadn't made a move to get closer to him as he walked over to me. I just stood there with my arms folded across my chest. I was pissed. Pissed at him. Pissed at myself. Pissed at not having a place to stay for tonight besides my car.

His smile quirked a little as if he wanted to snicker at my thoughts but he kept it tame, instead remaining silent and pulling my arms apart easily because I let them go loose as he did so. "You're always so wound," he remarked with a raised brow. I didn't get how he was not wound. He'd just left his home and family. His ex girlfriend with whom he was madly in love now hates him because he wasted time with me.

The leech rolled his eyes. I hate that he's always in my head. It's very annoying and I feel like I've got no privacy. "How would I know anything if I didn't pick your brain?" He makes a very good point.

"Who says I want you to know anything?" I countered, glaring at him once again. I'd softened my expression for a moment then let it sour again when he kept answering my thoughts.

"Anyway… this is going around in circles and it's getting boring. Want to find somewhere to stay with me?" He had his very cold fingers holding onto my triceps, his thumbs pressed just at the edge of my shoulders. Things had never been this tender and I was feeling a little uncomfortable that they were getting that way. We'd always said it should never get this way, but inch by inch it was sliding into it. Did I honestly care as much about this guy as I was beginning to wonder I did? And when did it happen?

"Just quit thinking and answer the question." He frowned in agitation and it was my turn to smirk finally.

"Yeah, let's do it." I finally said, letting a very small smile slip across my face. If I was going to be exiled from the reservation I might as well be with someone whose presence I can stand. And that's as much as I'd say out loud.

We both got back into our respective vehicles and sped off; me following him and I couldn't believe how that one simple act of revenge ended up in all this. How things had gone far from what I had originally expected, but it wasn't an entirely bad thing.

I sighed and pressed my head to the wheel when we stopped at a Motel 6. Did he have money and was he willing to pay for me? Because I probably only had enough for food. Yeah, I know I sometimes act like I'd prefer to handle things all on my own and that I've got them, but this whole nightmare was much more stressful than I thought it'd be.

I was about to get out of my car when the driver's side door swung open. Did I unlock the doors? Whatever. There was Edward looking kind of annoyed as he stared at me, seemingly waiting for me to get out. "I already got us a room," he stated curtly then walked away as if expecting me to follow. I got out of the car, leaving my bags because I wasn't sure how long we'd be staying or what I would even need. I'd get it all later if I needed it anyway.

We walked up to our room and I flopped on one of the beds with a heavy sigh. I was tired. I was stressed. I was sharing a hotel room with Edward for a reason other than pointless, angry sex. And to top it all off I wasn't sure how long I'd have a real roof over my head or if I'd be able to make money to feed myself. Seriously that sort of thing can get to you. That is unless I phased and never went back. Just stayed a wolf. I'd be fine that way. Why had I chosen the much more difficult human route again?

Before I could continue with that line of thinking I felt a cool, strong hand massaging my back. Because I didn't know what else to do I flinched. It was startling and a little too affectionate for my liking. I knew it was Edward, but I still reacted that way. I'm not in love with him. We just have random angry sex sometimes. That's all our relationship is and ever will be.

He stared at me, both of us sitting at opposite sides of the bed. He blinked then sighed. "I'm trying to make the most out of this crap situation. The least you could do is be grateful I'm giving you a place to stay." There was an edge to his voice and he rolled his eyes, getting up off the bed.

"Don't do me any favors." I shot back with just as much venom, feeling more upset with myself than anything. He growled in response and faced me again, his face taut with frustration. He looked like he was going to say something, but just shook his head and went to sift through the suitcase he'd brought.

For a while we just sat in silence then I decided to speak. "I'm gonna get my stuff. Taking the card." I grabbed the card key from the desk and went out to gather some clothing from my car. When I came back, he was in the shower so I waited because I had originally wanted to use. I wonder if he was just trying to be difficult. Who knows? Both of us were probably pretty wound about everything though he was masking it better than me. Trying to be mature about it I guess.

He came out and eyed me as I went in right after him. I quickly showered and put on a pair of boxers and a tee shirt. That's how I sleep. Usually. I felt a little bad for snapping even though he was trying to be civil with me. Even trying to comfort me. I don't know why I'm so adverse to accepting affection from him, but he's the same way.

I heaved in a sight then decidedly spoke. "Thanks, you know? For everything." I offered him a half smile and he merely nodded. I made my way over to where he was sitting at the edge of the bed he claimed. I didn't know what else to say. I've always kind of been bad at this sort of thing and it was even worse when it came to Edward since it always seemed so strange to me. I reached my hand down and took his own chill one, giving it a squeeze before getting up and laying out on my bed. I felt my face blaze even hotter than usual. Not that I was blushing, but that was a really embarrassing thing to do. I think at least. He hadn't said anything or really made a move so I guess I was in the clear. I turned around on my side and tried to fall asleep.

I hadn't really managed to get anywhere in the sleep department when I felt the mattress give under Edward's weight and he tapped cool fingers to my exposed upper arm. I turned around slightly to peer at him; a lump had grown in my throat and my thoughts were all a mess.

But I guess I didn't have to say anything or even think anything meaningful. The vampire slipped his arm through mine and around my waist. I didn't think he wore pajamas since he didn't sleep, but he was wearing his own simple gray tee shirt and boxers. Great minds think alike.

He chuckled and I allowed myself to give in to the touch of his chill, pale arms against the contrast of my own tanned and heated torso. For a long time we just laid like that not saying a word and I didn't squirm and he didn't quickly remove his arm. It was very different from what we were used to, but not so bad. I guess.

After a while I fell asleep and unbidden mumbled those fateful words I know he'll never let me forget. "_They don't love me. I can tell. But you do, so they can go to hell_."

**Xxxxx-Edward-xxxxX**

I had never watched anyone sleep before Bella and I thought I'd never do it again after I met her, but there I was fascinated by the way Jacob Black's body tossed and turned while he slept. He fell into positions I didn't think could even be comfortable.

It was strange that I found myself as fascinated (or possibly more so) than I had been with Bella. He was what he was after all… and a guy no less. I'd never been attracted to members of my same gender, but that wasn't the strangest thing to me. What really got me was that he was a shape-shifter hell bent on killing my kind. Our personalities constantly clashed because we both had very strong ones, but nevertheless that is what drew me to him. He was over-bearing, strong-willed, and a bit annoying sometimes. And I liked all those things. Go figure.

I didn't want to leave my family per se. I just felt it was necessary at the moment. I didn't want to cause any trouble between them and the Quileutes so I just left. It seemed simple enough to me, but I hadn't expected Jacob to follow my lead… or maybe part of me did. I don't know. Either way I was admittedly glad he had. Though I'm not about to tell him that.

I know Carlisle is disappointed in my decision because he and I are close, but I explained it to him when I got home to pack my things. I called him and told him just how I felt and he seemed to understand. He even told me to take the Volvo and said he'd wire me money if I needed it. He's a really nice person and I'm very grateful for his generosity. However, I'm still unsure what to do about it all.

That night I lay next to Jacob as much as possible even stopping his movement every now and then because I was right there beside him. At one point he was still and even hugged me closer. It gave me an awkwardly nice feeling. One I never expected to get from him. I'm not going to say he makes me feel like I've got wings though. That's just too weird.

Anyhow, I was too concerned with the future. What would things become? We couldn't live in a motel room forever and by then would we still want each other's company? There were a great deal of unanswered questions and the fact that my dear Jacob was in dreamland right about now didn't help me answer any of them.

He breathed softly, his too hot breath prickling my skin as he lay facing me now. For some reason as I gazed at his sleeping form I felt the strange urge to protect like I had with Bella. This time it was inherently different though. I wasn't so fearful about his safety that I felt the need to 'x' myself out of the equation. More to the truth I wanted to get closer. See how much more dangerous this thing we had could get. Still, I wanted to comfort him. He was taking this all harder than I had. Maybe because I was technically an adult and somewhat more mature. Whereas he was still battling with things most teenagers battled with.

He'd never admit it, but I could see the ways in which he was fragile. Ways that intrigued me. I wondered if he had the same musings. If he did I never heard them. Maybe they were in the farthest recesses of his mind that not even he was aware he had them. Honestly, I didn't even know. There were, yes, some things about Jacob Black that were still a mystery to me and I liked them that way.

As our time went by together; the time leading up to these particular turn of events I found myself less and less interested in the goings on of Jacob's mind. I purposefully stayed out of his brain because if I was going to find something out I wanted it to be because he told me. Things were going more out of hand than we both had initially wanted and by the time Bella had found out we'd slid so far down that hill that there was no going back up.

However, Jacob is horrendously difficult as I'm sure I myself am with him. And he tends to keep a lot of things to himself… again much like I do. So there is the occasion when I see fit to peer into his mind. I only glance just below the surface though. Never delve any deeper than what I deem is necessary. He isn't like Bella where I can't see into his thoughts at all, but I still find him to be a curiosity.

I love that he's fighting with giving himself to me. The battle for dominance will never be over and I don't want it to be. It's too much fun fighting with him anyhow.

He sleeps the entire night and in the morning I remind him of what he said before he fell completely asleep. The scowl that mars his features is too perfect. I smirk at him and get up off the bed we shared. It was the first time we spent a whole night in the same bed and one of us wasn't getting shoved forcefully into the mattress by the other. Mostly because all of our previous meetings were only ever about sex. This time I didn't feel the urge to bring any of that up. Besides I was content with the way things transpired and now I can tease Jacob to no end. I love getting him worked up.

He glares at me and I know he knows that I know he's mentally swearing at me right about now. It makes me laugh a little before I decidedly start dressing.

He watches me with a death stare before turning away and getting clothed himself. The quasi tiff forgotten I hear him heave in a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. This is all weighing on him hard. I became serious then and walked over to him, patting his shoulder as he pulls on a pair of pants.

For a while he just stared at me, buttoning up his pants but then he half-smiles.

"You're going to have to find a job to support me, you know?" I love joking with him because too many times he takes it too seriously and gets all flustered. Like this time. He gives me an indignant look and I roll my eyes.

"We'll be alright." I feel like I'm always having to be the reassuring strong one, but maybe that's just my eternal role. Protector. I was like that with Bella and I'm even like that now with big, bulked out Jacob.

We've both got pretty dark personalities, but his mind doesn't seem as stable as I know mine can be if I make an effort. He has anger management issues even now and I can tell his riding the thin line between breaking down and lashing out. And I can't believe how understanding I've been with him. We used to be at each other's throats for everything, but now I'm worried about his well-being.

I never knew I could be this concerned for Jacob Black or be glad to have his strong, copper arms wrapping around over my shoulders in a tight embrace. I wrap my arms around his torso and pull him just as close. So this is something no one would expect. Not even me, but it's comforting.

I give him a kiss meant to last only a second and our lips are locked, his tongue darting out to meet my own eager and waiting one. I can't remember ever kissing Bella with so much passion even after discovering she hadn't killed herself or that she was safe from Victoria and the newborns. There was something about the way he tugged me closer. There was a desperation I never thought he'd express. I felt needed in a way I'd never felt from Bella.

It was different in that I wasn't afraid of losing anything. Instead I reciprocated the need. I knew I wouldn't lose him because he was making it evident how much he simply needed my presence and I could deal with that. There wasn't a risk with him. I could be who I was without worry. And vice versa.

_If you're looking for a disappointment_

_You can find it around any corner_

_In the middle of the night I hold on to you tight_

_So both of us can feel protected_

* * *

Yes this was the sappiest chapter to date. I was listening to Garbage's "Tell Me Where It Hurts" practically the whole way through. That was the song that originally inspired this chapter anyway. I'm sorry if you don't like them being lovey but this was the direction I wanted to take. Besides… they're still in the honeymoon phase. Things are not going to stay this perfect. Hope you guys liked this. Let me know what you thought and if you have any suggestions.


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